Quiet control

Have you ever met someone who made you feel like the most special person in the world — almost immediately?

They texted constantly. They planned elaborate dates. They told you they had never felt this way about anyone before. Everything felt intense, electric, and almost too good to be true.

It probably was.

What is love bombing?

Love bombing is a manipulation tactic in which a person overwhelms their partner with excessive affection, attention, and admiration in the early stages of a relationship. It is commonly used by people with narcissistic traits as a way to gain control and create emotional dependency before the dynamic shifts (Stark, 2007).

The term comes from the idea of being “bombed” with love — so much, so fast, that you don’t have time to think clearly or notice red flags.

Why is it so hard to recognise?

Because it feels wonderful. Love bombing mimics the experience of falling deeply in love. The intensity feels romantic rather than alarming. By the time the behaviour shifts — and it always does — you are already emotionally attached and dependent on the relationship.

5 Signs You Were Love Bombed

1. Everything moved very fast They wanted to be exclusive almost immediately. Talk of the future — moving in together, marriage, children — came up within weeks.

2. The attention felt overwhelming Constant texts, calls, and check-ins. If you didn’t respond quickly, they became anxious or upset.

3. They put you on a pedestal You were told you were unlike anyone they had ever met. You were “perfect.” The compliments felt excessive even when they felt good.

4. You felt a sense of obligation Because they gave so much, you felt guilty not reciprocating at the same level — even when something felt off.

5. The intensity suddenly disappeared Love bombing is always followed by a shift. The warmth fades. The criticism begins. This is when the devaluation phase of the NPD cycle starts.

What should you do?

If this sounds familiar, know that being love bombed is not your fault. Recognising the pattern is the first and most important step.

If you are in Australia and need support, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit beyondblue.org.au